Pepperdine NSO

Whew OK, I'm finally sitting down.

College = WIN!

So for about the last week I've been in New Student Orientation, and it's been, wow, there aren't a lot of words for it. It's just so fucking awesome. A little recap with some details omitted for the nature of the content there in.

Well the first day I moved in and upon bringing my first box in I was told to put on an eye patch and a head bandanna and a grab a sword and pose, for my dorm is the J. Pengilly Pirates, and indeed the main lobby was made into a pirate ship. There was even a mast over the fireplace (side note: my dorm has a fireplace and a big TV in the lobby, boo ya). This of course is truly a sign that the Flying Spaghetti Monster wants me to be here (more details on FSM here). After running around doing random back to school stuff, our dorm met for CLOM [Community Leaders Orientation Meeting, one of about 100 different acronyms used on campus] Where after they laid down some ground rules and asked us things like our favorite super heroes we signed our names on a pirate flag, and proceeded to start food eating contests. Some people had to eat jars of frosting, others downed marshmallows, some had to inhale chili peppers, me on the other hand, I volunteer to chug otter pops. However otter pops were deemed too messy, so I got to engage in syrup chugging. Yes a full, whole big ass bottle. Which brings me to my next point, my first day of college living and I'm already throwing up, somewhere a frat boy is wiping a tear from his eye.

The next day is filled with more registration and class stuff, but it ends with our down taking the Pengilly Plunge. Which is where we all strip to our swim trunks and wrap towels around our heads and we are driven to the beach. We all line up with linked arms, and march toward the sea. Then a hobo showed up, so my SLA (Spiritual Life Advisor: this kid is awesome, not to stereotype but all of you people involved in arty theater music stuff, you would adore him, with rancor, he's fucking awesome) grabbed me and pulled on my arm and whispered “Oh fuck a hobo just wandered into the group shit, come on quick” and he jerked me, and by proxy everyone else around. My RAs were shouting orders and we ended up in a big group cause we can't see [Everyone, hands above the waist – don't touch me there – is that you Scott - that's not my arm you fucker – holy shit what happened]. When we straightened ourself out we ran into the beach screaming war songs and chants of alliance to the dorm. Afterwards we returned to campus and ran through and jumped in all the major fountains on campus, and even took some snap shots. Lots of good ol' male bonding and such, we kick so much ass.

The next day we had one of those fair expos come along and I put my name on everything, and then OMG, I couldn't help but shed a tear. OK maybe not really (or at all, I was mainly laughing hysterically) but all of us had this big steak dinner with root beer floats out on Alumni Park which is amazing. It's this flattish high point that over looks the ocean and you can just see out for miles and my whole class was there and we are all laughing and talking as the sun sets and jeez, I kinda felt bad for all of yous going to places were there's several feet of snow and its butt fucking freezing. I mean come on I talked to Pamela Anderson when I was getting supplies to stock up my dorm when I went to Ralph's. Anyway when the sun set they set up this like 20 foot screen or something and played a movie. Well at least I think they did, as that's what I was told. I didn't see it for two very good reasons. 1) the movie was She's the Man and 2) I had much, much better things going on concurrently in another dorm area thing.

The next day we started preparing this thing called Frosh Follies which is a big tradition involving song and dance and I can't really explain it to you but go with me. Oh and I had tri-tip for lunch, and no that was not a special dish of any kind. Then, just oh my, its so I mean. Whew. How many students can say that the president of their university is lead guitar in a rock band (called Mid-life Crisis) and then he invites your freshmen class to his house on the university ( OH MY FUCKING GAWD -- THIS THING WAS ENORMOUS and it had a 360 degree view across everything [I heard it was worth like well over 30 million dollars]) and he meets everyone individually and then plays for you all, and you get smoothies and food and everything. Thanks to fortuitous circumstances I ended up with two dates and had a kick ass time, of course. P.S. if there is a god out there he likes me, and Eastern Europe. Go foreign exchange students—Ra Ra!!

That was last night, I think. Today we prepared and rehearsed our Frosh Follies things and performed them, my dorm alliance won best spirited it was so bad ass, and I can't really talk right now, and there's a dance party going on right now that I just dashed out of. So that was a quickie of the past few days. Is there more? Hell yes. Do I want to talk about it. No, not really, just go with me on that.

In short, I feel so college right now.

Can I get a Hell's Yeah!?

ZERO HOUR: IT COMES!

SNAKES ON A PLANE

Okie dokey, let's see what happened.

Tuesday, I got my wisdom teeth pulled, all of 'em. I found out about it Monday evening. Oddly enough, there was a brief moment right after I woke up, when I was drugged beyond cognition when I thought “Wow, this ain't that bad!” Yeah, that didn't last long as you can guess. So for the next few days I was eating liquid food and all that creamy goodness. Today I had my stitches pulled and can feel the cavities where my teeth used to be. Not fun. Now on to a related note: time control.

For instance if you had a dagger that could manipulate the flows of time, that would be pretty cool. What does that mean? It means I'm talking about the Prince of Persia. Which I have deemed to be pretty fun. The first one is more goofy and less cool looking, but the character is great, the second has less cool character but the detail is better, and the combat is awesome, the third one combines a great character and sweet combat (three styles) to make it fun and exciting. Now why do I know this? When you look like a bloated chipmunk and can't eat hard food, and day time television sucks, there's only one thing left. I found the games helped pass the time when I was iced up and drugged up.

Then a few days ago, I was wearing these flannel pants things, and when I walked past a bush because me and my dad were cutting down trees, I brushed up against a hive of bees, and had 20 of the little fuckers start to bite me through my pants. This left me to rip of my pants and shoes and hoping through a field of brambles and stickers shouting “oh fuck shit ass balls suck my nuts you evil little winged fruit fucking whackso mofo ball monkies” while waving my hands back and forth shouting “Bees, bees god damnit” so that my dad will turn off the tractor which is pissing them off. I returned the next day to get my pants.

The WWDC happened, and if you want to see some windows bashing go to apple's site and click the icon that says “keynote” to watch the opening speech. There's also another thing from the PC guy which I thought was funny, its linked off that page.

I leave for college Monday, and I can't fucking wait. Woot!